We are clay in the hands of Jesus

Sex outside of Marriage

Sex before Marriage

There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral?  Yes is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”-1 Corinthians 7:2.  In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. The verse is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.

Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin:

Acts 15:20- “but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood.”

1 Corinthians 5:1It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.”

2 Corinthians 12:21-“ I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.”

Galations 5:19- “Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality…”

1 Thessalonians 4:3- “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.”

Jude 7 “Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.”

And many more.  There are so many references to sex outside of marriage (mostly sexual immorality and impurities).  Far too often we focus on the “recreation” aspect of sex without recognizing that there is another aspect—procreation. Sex within marriage is pleasurable, and God designed it that way. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God’s intent for sex includes producing children. Thus, for a couple to engage in sex before marriage is doubly wrong—they are enjoying pleasures not intended for them, and they are taking a chance of creating a human life outside of the family structure God intended for every child.

While practicality does not determine right from wrong, if the Bible’s message on sex before marriage were obeyed, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwed mothers and unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence is God’s only policy when it comes to sex before marriage. Abstinence saves lives, protects babies, gives sexual relations the proper value, and, most importantly, honors God.

But here is something important: Even if you have participated in sex outside of marriage, know this.  God loves you and wants you to be safe.  There is no sin (except ultimate rejection of Him) that He can not forgive. You might not be a technical virgin anymore, but you can choose to be reborn in it and start over.  You can choose to be a virgin at heart again.  You can learn to practice abstinence again.  But know that God loves you and so do I. I do not judge here.

Before I finish, I want to share this story:

During a youth group meeting, there was a boy and girl who were dating. They were sitting together and the boy had his hand on the upper thigh of the girl.  Every now and then, they boy would squeeze and the girl would giggle.  The point came where the youth pastor couldn’t handle this couple anymore.  So the youth pastor asked the boy: “Are you going to be marrying this girl someday?”. The boy said:”Probably not.  We’re just dating.” The pastor quickly followed with:”Well then get your hands off another mans wife.”…

This story is important, in saying that any kind of sexual contact, activity, or intercourse with someone outside of marriage is wrong.  You are pretty much messing around with another man’s wife or another woman’s husband.  You are ultimately taking away one of the best gifts God gave to married couples. 

Any questions? Ask Me!